I was born in June of 1972 to Ronnie and Joyce. They were living in a trailer on an island off the coast of Florida. My father worked road construction so they moved all over south Florida.
My parents had married sometime in 1969 and even tho they were 17 and 19, wanted kids right away. They had both had a bumpy childhood and thought that getting married and having kids would insure their "happily ever after".
They tried for almost 3 years with no success and so my mom finally went to a doctor to see why she wasn't getting pregnant. Her Dr told her she had a tipped uterus and gave her some suggestions about different positions that might help her get pregnant, and the next month, I was on my way.
My mother's pregnancy was uneventful and as the big day approached, relatives decended on them. Her mother came to stay with them as did his mother and 16 yr old sister.
The friction started almost immediately betwen the two grandmothers to be. Both of the grandmas wanted to be in charge of things and neither liked the other. I'm sure the Florida heat made things even worse. From what I have been told, it was a very unpleasant two weeks. Apparently I took my sweet time getting here.
Finally one hot night, the adults decided to get along and play poker. My mother was uneasy and restless and just could not get into the game. Around midnight she realized that she was in labor and so off to the hospital everyone went.
At 4:40 a.m. I made my arrival. My parents were thrilled as were the new grandmothers and teenaged aunt. I was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and so my parents decided to name me after both of their sisters.
A few days later, I was brought home from the hospital and if my parents thought their mothers bickered before I was born, well it got worse after my arrival. I was apparently the bone my grandmas fought over.
After a couple of weeks, the grandmothers left, but my 16 yr old aunt stayed the rest of the summer to help my mom out.
By the fall, my parents had their house and baby to themselves and thought this was the beginning of their "happily ever after"
But as one of my favorite song lyrics says "Happily ever after fails and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales"
My father was from what I have been told a great guy with a heart of gold who took in strays of all sorts, be they human or animal (a trait I inherited lol) Sadly he also had a huge problem. He had been an alcoholic since the age of 14. When things got bad, he sought comfort in a bottle.
Sometimes he would stop by the bar on his way home from work on payday and not come home until his money was gone, then he would cal his mom for money to pay the bills and care for me.
My mother also had issues. She had had a terrible life. Her mother was abusive to her little sister and often beat her sister for things my mom did.To this day my mother has survivors guilt over this.
Her mother frequently left the kids and disapeared for long stretches at a time. Mom's escape was marijuanna.
SO for a year or so, they tried to make life work. Mom would get upset with dad's drinking, and having to beg his mom for money, dad had issues with mom, but I am not quite shure what they were.
Then I guess mom had enough and she took me and went to live with her aunt. My father was devestated by this and tried everything he could to get his family back.
And of course he tried to medicate the pain with alcohol. I'm told he once showed up at mom's aunt's house late one night, drunk begging to see me and for mom and I to come home and mom denied him telling him to come in and sleep it off and they would talk when he was sober. He opted to sleep outside in his car.
On March 3rd 1974, my dad sat alone in his apartment and had a couple of beers. He had no home phone, and so he decided to drive a couple of blocks away to a pay phone. He called his mother, but instead of talking to her, talked to his now 17 yr old sister.
He told her he didn't think that my mother would ever come back to him. He said he didn't think she was a good mom. He wanted something that in 1974 was almost unheard of. He wanted custody of his daughter.
He knew that it would be almost impossible for a man to get custody of a child, especially a baby girl not yet two years old, but he thought he had a good case and knew he needed a good lawyer.
He told his sister he had an idea how to pay for that lawyer. He had been in a couple of car wrecks already and the insurance payout had been good. He told his sister he was going to drive into a pole and wreck his car and get insurance and use the money for a lawyer.
The two car wrecks he had been in had been really bad and he figured that a simple car versus tree or pole would leave him sore for a few days at most.
His sister begged him not to do that. She told him to talk to their mom and see if she would loan him the money for a lawyer, or to call their grandmother who had lots of money and would do anything for her favorite grandson.
For some reason, my father chose this moment to be independant and not ask someone else for money. He told his sister goodbye, hung up and drove off into the night looking for the perfect place to wreck his car.
He found a telephone pole in front of a Catholic church. He hit the pole going about 45 miles and hour. In the era before seat belts, he was unrestrained and his chest hit the steering wheel with such force that it ruptured his aorta and killed him instantly.
A priest from the church heard the accident and ran outside. He gave my father last rites (dad wasn't catholic but for some reason this has always made me feel better). The priest rode in the ambulance with my dad even tho he was already gone.
My father's mother was notified of his death by a family friend who was on the police department. She immediately blamed his wife. She said that if his wife had not left him, he would not have been out drinking and driving. She said had his wife been a better wife and kept a cleaner home and had dinner on the table when he came home ect, that he would have stopped drinking.
I don't know if his mother ever knew he wrecked on purpose. I only found out after her death from my father's sister.
My father's death put events into motion that would completely alter my life and my identity. But that's another story.
It will be my next blog.
